Beard's Reply to Sweets' Reply

I think SB and Sweets pretty much hit the nail on its head but missed one of my favorite syndromes. Sweets talked about swollen ankles, a serious problem for people 40 years and older. Perhaps a more relevant 'swelling,' for those that do not remember Reagan's administration, are swollen, ashy, sausage fingers. Often times, after a night of drinking, I cannot pry my flip phone's screen from the keypad. I attribute this to drinking so much Steel Reserve that when people ask me what my ethnicity is, I reply 'Iron and Carbon'. But 40's of Steel Reserve are not the only culprit. We all know who is to blame, our Asian friend...not Kazu...Ramen, yes, a Mr. Ramen Noodle. The sodium content contained in these $0.31 treats are high enough to corrode 'Old Ironside' to a Kaschper single. The combination of both caustic materials have you barking the next morning as well as sobbing for mercy (Note: sobbing after a night of Steel Reserve and Ramen will produce no tears [because of the dehydration], but a hideous, haggard and homely face that not even your mother can love).